the me that is~
disguising errands as mommy-daughter time
pretending that i'm listening
being efficient and productive
but the me that is ~
on the floor playing
pushing them on the swings
listening to them
letting them "help" me make dinner or fold laundry
paying attention just to them
allowing the mess, the to do list, the tasks to just sit
don't get me wrong,
i am all about integrating my kids into my routine.
there is plenty to do in each day, and i'm not suggesting that i play all the day long while mountains of laundry pile up burying us in an avalanche of dirty kids' clothes.
and i have three deadlines right now,
a studio full of half finished paintings,
a website that needs to be made,
a house that could use some major loving,
and on and on and on.
but i've begun to notice how much my children have to compete with to get their own mom's attention:
my self-expectations for how much i should accomplish in a day
my to do list
my, my, my.
i've been trying to take a break from what is either often an ego issue
(as in, "i've gotten everything on my to do list done, plus kept two kids alive today so i feel pretty great about myself")
or a connection issue
(as in, "if i don't check my email or texts or instagram or facebook then i'll be so out of the loop")
will the world end if i'm a little less on task and a little more intentional as a mom?
then i teach my kids that i value relationship with them more than their (or my) accomplishments and achievements.
here is to my house being messy,
my inbox being full (who am i kidding, it's already full),
my to do list less crossed off
and my kids feeling loved, nurtured, and celebrated as we play, learn, and laugh together.